The "three views" are
essential ideas that guide how we think and live: worldview, values, and
outlook on life.
•Worldview: This is how you
understand the world around you. Your worldview is built from your experiences—
the places you’ve been, the books you’ve read, the people you’ve met, and the
things you’ve done. If you don’t climb high, you won’t know how high the sky
is. What you see, hear, and learn shapes how you view the world.
•Values: These are your principles
and beliefs about what is right, wrong, or important in life. For example, some
people believe knowledge can change their lives, some think health is the most
important, and others think wealth matters most. Your values guide your choices
and actions, influencing how you interact with others and make decisions
•Outlook on Life: This is your
vision, your dreams, and the kind of person you want to become. It is shaped by
your worldview and values.
Together, these three views create
the foundation for how you think, feel, and act. They help you understand the
world, define what’s important, and guide you toward your dreams.
What is your three views
Three views are about view of world, view of value and view
of life.
The view of world means the road you traveled, the book you
read, the people you see and the things you have done. If you never go high,
you don’t know the height of the sky. The view of world is decided by what his
see and hear.
The view of value is about what is right. For example, some
people think knowledge can change his life. Some people think health is the
most important, and some people think wealth is the most important.
The view of life is about your dream after reading books, traveling
your road. What kinds of people do you want to be. The view of world and the
view of value determined your view of life
What You Think Emotional Stability Is vs. What It Really Means
Many people think being emotionally stable means not showing or feeling
emotions. This is a big mistake. Holding in your feelings for a long time can
actually make your emotions harder to control. Real emotional stability means
understanding, accepting, expressing, and addressing your emotions in healthy
ways.
Examples:
1.What
You Think: Emotional stability means you can control your emotions and
avoid feel anything. What It Really Means: Emotional stability is about accepting
your feelings. It’s normal to have negative feelings—they can carry important
messages that help you better understand yourself.
2.What
You Think: I can hold my emotions inside without the need to release
them. What It Really Means: You need to process and resolve your
emotions. If you notice you’re holding in too much, let it out by exercising,
talking to someone, crying, or finding other ways that work for you.
Key Point:
Emotional stability isn’t about the
absence of emotions but about managing them effectively in ways that promote
understanding and growth.
What You Think Emotional Stability Is vs. What It Actually Means
There’s a common misunderstanding about emotional stability: many believe
that suppressing or not expressing emotions equates to emotional stability.
This is one of the biggest misconceptions. In reality, long-term suppression of
emotions often leads to emotional instability. The essence of emotional
management lies not in compressing or ignoring feelings but in recognizing,
understanding, expressing, and addressing them through constructive methods.
Examples:
1.What
You Think: Emotional stability means you can control your emotions and
avoid feeling anything. What It Actually Means: Emotional stability involves accepting
your emotions. It's normal to experience negative feelings—they carry important
messages that help you better understand yourself.
2.What
You Think: You can tolerate emotions without the need to release them. What It Actually Means: You need to process and resolve your
emotions. Determine whether you're accumulating unresolved emotions and release
them through methods that work for you, such as exercising, talking, crying, or
other healthy outlets.
Key Takeaway:
Emotional stability isn’t about the
absence of emotions but about managing them effectively in ways that promote
understanding and growth.
The stability of emotion by your think vs actual fact
There is misunderstanding of the stability of emotion: people
used to think the non-expression of emotion means the stability of emotion, this
is the biggest misunderstanding. The long-term holding of your emotion could
lead to instatbility of emation. The key of emotion management is not to
compress of ignore the emotion, but to recognize, understand, express and resolve
the emation by constructive ways
Examples are:
1.You think you can control your emotion, no emotion
will be generated. But actually, you need to accept the emotion, it is normal
to generate negative emotion, need to ackowlege the message from the emotion,
and to understand your selfmore
2.You think you can tolerance the emotion, no need
to release it. But actually, you need to understand and resolve the emotion. Figure
out if ther eis accumulation of emotion, and resolve it through execise,
talking, crying or other means suitable to you
The Meaning of Life: It’s All About
Eating and Drinking
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
describes five levels of what people need in life. These levels can be
explained through something simple—eating and drinking:
Basic Needs:
Having food and drinks to survive.
Safety Needs:
Having food and drinks all the time so you feel secure.
Social Needs:
Enjoying food and drinks with friends to feel connected.
Esteem Needs:
Sharing food and drinks with close, long-term friends to feel respected.
Self-Actualization:
Being able to provide food and drinks for your close friends, showing
purpose and care for others.
In
short, life can be seen as finding, enjoying, and sharing food and
drinks—starting from basic survival to building deep relationships and giving
back.
The Meaning of Life: It's All About
Eating and Drinking
According to Maslow's hierarchy of
needs, there are five levels of human necessity. These levels can be
interpreted through the lens of life's most basic pleasure: eating and
drinking.
Basic Needs:
Satisfying the first level involves having enough food and drink to meet
physical survival requirements.
Safety Needs:
Consistently having access to food and drink fulfills the need for
security and stability.
Social Needs:
Sharing food and drink with friends addresses the third level, the desire
for connection and belonging.
Esteem Needs:
Enjoying food and drink with long-term companions satisfies the fourth
level, reflecting mutual respect and a sense of accomplishment within
relationships.
Self-Actualization:
Reaching the highest level involves the ability to consistently provide
food and drink for long-term friends, symbolizing purpose, fulfillment,
and the ability to contribute to others' well-being.
In essence, life’s meaning can be
distilled into the pursuit and sharing of sustenance, representing both our basic
needs and our deeper aspirations.
The meaning of life is all about eating and drinking
According to the musk’s levels of necessary of life, there
are 5 different levels in a men’s life. The first and basic level is bodys
needs, and the second level is security needs, and the third is social needs,
and the forth is the being reputed needs, and the fifth is self purpose needs.
In simple way it could be explained as follows
1.Having food and drinks, which satisfied the
first level needs
2.Having food and drinks consistently, which
satisfies the second level needs
3.Having food and drinks consistently with
friends, which satisfied the third level needs
4.Having food and drinks consistently with long-term
following friends, which satisfied the fourth level needs
5.Be able to provide food and drinks consistently with
long-term following friends, which satisfied the fifth level needs.
留学生抑郁已经不止一次被提起了，但好像还没有一篇以one on one conversation的形式来谈论这个问题的文章。精神疾病是有很多种类型的，抑郁症是最广为人知也是最被滥用的。人们对抑郁症有很多误解，最常见的一种就是，抑郁常常被认为是“心情不好”，而真正的抑郁是，生活中所有的一切都很好，可我还是在精神上挣扎着。你问我原因？ — — 我也不知道。
Overwhelming是大多数抑郁症患者都会用的词，当然并不是所有overwhelming的人都是抑郁症。这个世界要求太多了，我要么躺在床上拒绝面对真实的世界，要么就得爬起来一项一项去战斗which is endless。当我看着别人那样proactive地活跃在朋友圈Facebook，出现在各种群体活动各种party的时候，我看着他们火热的朋友圈留言，心里就一个感受：为什么我不能和他们一样正常地对这些东西食物、某某大人物要来开lecture、各种美国的节日产生兴趣？我的心生病了，可是明天还要上课、开会，还有那么多新的科技和融资，那么多推送要去读，这个世界为什么就不能停一停？
笔者患了抑郁症以后，觉得生养我的父母是最有权利知道what’s going on with me的人，于是告知了他们。我妈一个电话就打来了：“我就不懂了，你现在什么都好好的，终于也出国了，假期还可以旅游，你怎么还不高兴呢？上一辈出国打拼的人还要刷盘子，你已经这么幸福了怎么还不满足？遇到困难就去克服，不要老把抑郁症的帽子往自己头上扣。” — — 看，另外一个抑郁症患者不说出来的原因是，别人总会认为你在装可怜或者找借口。
可以的话，让我们知道你是那个凌晨两点钟都会在的朋友，但不要太pushy。当我们真的撑不下去的时候，我们会reach out to you。那时候，陪我们去公园的长凳上坐一坐，什么也别问，什么也别安慰，静静陪着我们就好。那个“蹲下来陪我做一只蘑菇”的故事大家都听过吧？虽然挺鸡汤，但对抑郁症患者来说确实是这个理儿。（蘑菇图太丑，随手拉了张猫图）
另外留学的路确实是很孤独的。一个人在异国生活，因为什么都是一个人，有时候会缺少一个benchmark，担心自己是不是走偏了。要知道当一条路上只有你一个人的时候，你总会质疑自己到底是会找到一个新的帝国还是还是完全走了极端。当遇到困难的时候，不是所有人都feel comfortable of seeking for help的，有很多人都会选择自己消化。笔者不反对自己消化自己成长，但是千万不要走完全封闭自己的极端，不然情况可能会恶化，抑郁症处理不好还是挺危险的。对于自己所处的境地一定要be mindful，80%可以尽量自己处理，另外20%一定要保证有外界的input，可以是有选择地和别人沟通和交流，也可以是查资料或者看合适的影音书。
另外可以去找找自己附近有没有定期的group session，这样就可以避免打扰到朋友，也有一个理解和包容你的群体。找一些关于抑郁症的资料和文章去读，客观看待抑郁症。我还常常看Humans of New York，虽然很鸡汤但还是很正能量的，让我知道每个人都有很艰难的一段日子，打开自己狭小的格局，“看开一点”会缓解抑郁。
笔者因为自己患了抑郁，也因此改变了看世界的perspective：Don’t judge. You never know what they’re going through. 他人即地狱，自我是一个深渊。不要push yourself too hard，人类本来就很脆弱，人生也从来不是一个easy game.
